


and every day is the start (of something beautiful)

by nerdinscrubs



Series: the puckleberry chronicles [2]
Category: Glee
Genre: F/M, Gen, Light Angst, Mild Language, Past Rachel Berry/Finn Hudson, Teen Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-17
Updated: 2020-04-17
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:47:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23704126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nerdinscrubs/pseuds/nerdinscrubs
Summary: Sequel to "frightens me to know so well (the place I shouldn't go)" - you don't have to have read that one, but it helps. Months after their moment in New York, Puck and Rachel have a conversation on the bleachers, and Rachel finally gets it right.“I haven’t forgotten what happened in New York,” she said, turning to meet his concerned gaze. “What you said to me that night about me, and you, and Finn… your song. I know it may seem like I did, but I didn’t, Noah. I’ve thought about it every day – I’ve argued with myself, reasoned with myself… lied to myself.” She snorted derisively, her eyes flickering towards the football field. “I tried telling myself that you were wrong, that I had my leading man, that you and I were just friends, but…” she trailed off, her eyes moving back to meet his, her hand tightening around his own. “It turns out you were right about us all along.”
Relationships: Rachel Berry/Noah Puckerman
Series: the puckleberry chronicles [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1707028
Kudos: 28





	and every day is the start (of something beautiful)

**Author's Note:**

> I originally wrote and posted this on FF.net in 2011 and am finally transitioning my stories to Ao3. Puck and Rachel were one of my early OTPs, and I gotta say it was fun to re-read and revisit this story. Title is a lyric from "All We Are" by Matt Nathanson. Enjoy!

\-----------------------------------

He found her on the bleachers, in what had unofficially become their spot over the past few months, her chin propped on her fists as she stared blankly out at the football field. Despite her jeans and the black pea coat she had wrapped around her body, her head and hands were uncovered, and he knew she had to be cold as she sat unmoving in the frigid February air. Shoving his hands deeper into the pockets of his leather jacket, he walked across the metal planks to where she sat. Although his footsteps echoed on the hollow metal, she gave no indication of noticing his approach.

“I’ve been looking for you,” he told her as he sat down next to her, leaning back against the bleacher behind him.

She turned her head to meet his gaze, a smile he could tell was forced on her face. “I’m sorry, Noah. Was there something you wanted to discuss with me?”

So that’s how she wanted to play it - acting like nothing was wrong when something was. She was fucking nuts if she thought he was going to fall for that shit, but he’d let her get away with it for now if that’s what she needed. Hell, he’d been giving her what she wanted for months now, ever since Nationals where he’d laid everything on the line for her. She knew he was fucking crazy about her, but she’d said she needed to figure out for herself who her leading man was. She’d needed to see if Finn was the great love she thought he was, and as much as it killed him, Puck respected that. It had to be her decision. He hadn’t tried to convince her that Finn wasn’t right for her or that Puck himself was. He hadn’t tried to kiss her, even if sometimes she would look so damn beautiful or say something so fucking adorable that it was all he could do not to cover her mouth with his own. He had done exactly what he’d told her he would do – he’d been her friend.

He’d texted and called her over the summer while she attended some prestigious musical theater camp in Michigan. When school had started up again in August, he’d continued to be her friend no matter what their classmates said. He’d walked with her in the halls, he sat with her at lunch, and they hung out together outside of school (much to Finn’s displeasure). He’d watched her and Finn try to make their relationship work (again), watched as Finn continued to make the same mistakes, watched as Rachel realized she deserved better, a leading man who wouldn’t try to dim her star or clip her wings. And when she’d showed up at his door two months ago, in tears after breaking up with the boy she had been convinced was the one for her, Puck had held her and let her tears dampen his shirt. Since that night he had given her space, waiting for her to let him know that she was ready to give them a chance. It hadn’t been easy.

He shrugged a shoulder and looked at her out of the corner of his eye. “You kinda took off after we finished running through our duet. I wanted to make sure you were okay.” He grinned. “I can’t very well do a duet without a partner, can I?”

The duet was either the best thing to ever happen in Glee or the worst. He couldn’t decide. (That was total bullshit - watching Finn make moon eyes at Rachel while singing a song  _ he _ had written was totally the worst). But Schuester had finally realized that a standard Finn and Rachel duet had gotten them nowhere fast these past two years and had been making actual attempts to change things up this year. Artie and Tina had done a duet at Sectionals and had totally rocked it. And then a few weeks ago Mr. Schue had come into Glee and announced that he had found the song that was going to send them back to Nationals.

Which is how Puck found himself spending two afternoons a week redefining sexual tension as he and Rachel sang and danced around each other to Lady Antebellum’s “Just a Kiss.” When Mr. Schuester first announced that Puck and Rachel would be performing the duet at Regionals, Rachel had only recently broken up with Finn, and Finn pitched a fucking fit about not singing with Rachel, clearly thinking he could use the opportunity to woo her and get her back. Surprisingly, Schue hadn’t caved to his favorite student but had stuck to his guns, citing Puck and Rachel’s performance of “Need You Now” as proof that they had the musical chemistry needed to knock the song out of the park (Puck wasn’t sure that made Finn feel any better, if the glares he’d received were anything to go by, but Puck didn’t care.) This was his chance to show Rachel that he could be her leading man onstage as well as off, and he wasn’t about to blow it. He’d thrown himself into the performance, spending hours with Rachel perfecting both his vocals and the intricate dance Mike and Brittany had choreographed for the group. Today was the first time they had put the vocals with the choreography as a whole group, and the results had been electric. By the time they reached the end of the song, with Puck and Rachel pressed against each other and their eyes locked on one another as they sang the final lines, the air was thick and their lips had been inches from touching. It was only when Schue began clapping enthusiastically as he praised their performance that Rachel had pulled away, swallowed nervously, and then unobtrusively fled the room. She hadn’t returned when Glee ended a minute later, so Puck set out to find her.

“I didn’t mean to worry you, Noah,” Rachel spoke, bringing his attention back to the girl sitting next to him. “I just… needed some air and room to think.”

“I can go…” Puck trailed off as he started to stand, not wanting to crowd Rachel or make her uncomfortable.

Rachel’s hand shot out and wrapped around his wrist. “No, Noah, stay. You’re what I’ve been thinking about, or at least part of what I’ve been thinking about, and you deserve to know what I haven’t been able to say out loud.”

“Okay…” Puck said cautiously, a strange mix of both hope and anxiety making his chest feel tight. He lowered himself back to the bleacher beside her and shifted his arm so that her hand that had been wrapped around his wrist was now intertwined with his, his thumb rubbing soothing circles into the back of her hand. “Talk to me, Rach. Anything you have to say, you know I’ll listen.”

Rachel smiled at him even as tears pooled in the corners of her eyes. “You’re so good to me,” she whispered, her words disappearing into the cold winter air. “Even when I don’t deserve it.”

Puck frowned, the hand not entwined with hers reaching out to wipe the errant tear that had trickled from her eye. “Rachel… baby, what’s wrong? What are you talking about?”

Rachel shook her head, wiping her cheeks with her free hand. “I haven’t forgotten what happened in New York,” she said, turning to meet his concerned gaze. “What you said to me that night about me, and you, and Finn… your song. I know it may seem like I did, but I didn’t, Noah. I’ve thought about it every day – I’ve argued with myself, reasoned with myself… lied to myself.” She snorted derisively, her eyes flickering towards the football field. “I tried telling myself that you were wrong, that I had my leading man, that you and I were just friends, but…” she trailed off, her eyes moving back to meet his, her hand tightening around his own. “It turns out you were right about us all along.”

Puck remained silent, unsure of what to say, the tightness in his chest easing as hope started to crowd out his fear. He settled for returning the pressure on his hand, offering his silent support.

“Do you know why I broke up with Finn?” Rachel asked suddenly. Puck knew this was a rhetorical question. Even after Rachel had shown up at his house the night she broke up with Finn, she never told him exactly what prompted the breakup. Finn certainly hadn’t told him either. The two hadn’t spoken unless otherwise necessary since Rachel and Finn stopped dating. Puck had just assumed that Rachel had realized that Finn had no intention of leaving Ohio and had decided to cut their relationship short rather than wait for the stupid ‘expiration date’ to arrive.

Rachel kept talking, clearly having expected Puck to not respond. “It wasn’t because he did anything wrong. Finn was actually good to me when we got back together, or at least better than he had been during our previous attempts at a relationship. Sure, sometimes I could tell he wasn’t listening to me when I talked, and sometimes he would still forget that I don’t eat meat, but he didn’t pine after Quinn or follow Santana’s breasts with his eyes when she walked past. He took me out on dates, he held my hand in the hallways, he supported my ideas in Glee. He did everything I wanted him to do before we broke up last year. I should have been thrilled - he was being the leading man I wanted him to be.” She laughed sadly. “But the thing is, whenever something would happen – I’d hear a song I thought we could do for Glee, or I applied to a college, or I just needed someone to talk to – the first person I thought of calling wasn’t Finn.” She turned to look at Puck, her eyes shimmering with tears. “It was you.”

She shook her head, wiping away a tear with her thumb. “And at first I tried to explain it away. You are one of my best friends – it was natural that I would want to share things with you. But it was more than that, Noah. It was more than just a desire to  _ share  _ my life with a friend or someone I care about. It was about wanting to share my life _ with you _ . I wanted you to be my leading man, in both my life and my heart. Once I realized that… there was no way I could stay with Finn. It wasn’t fair to either of us.”

She reached out with her free hand and covered Puck’s so that his hand was wrapped inside both of hers. “I want to be very clear about this, Noah. You are not a consolation prize. I don’t just want to be with you because Finn didn’t turn out to be my leading man. You are  _ not _ a second choice to me. You’re not even my first choice. It’s not a competition between you and Finn. It’s not a  _ choice _ . I simply cannot picture my life without you in it. I’ll always care about Finn, but he is not the one I want or need by my side. That’s you.”

Puck was speechless. Rachel had just told him pretty much everything he had wanted to hear since last January. She wanted,  _ needed _ him to be in her life, to be her leading man. He should have been ecstatic. And yet, he needed to understand. “Rach… I don’t get it. If you realized all this and broke up with Finn because of it, then why is it two months later and all we are to each other is friends?”

Rachel looked away guiltily. “I wish I could tell you it was out of respect to Finn, or because I didn’t want people to accuse you of seducing another one of Finn’s girlfriends. I wish I could tell you it was because I wanted to make sure I was over Finn, so that you wouldn’t be a rebound. But…” she trailed off, her voice cracking and thick with tears. “The truth is, I was scared.”

Puck frowned, not sure what she meant. He reached out with his right hand and cupped her cheek, turning her tear-filled eyes back to his. “Why were you scared, Rachel? Was it me?” His gut twisted at the thought of her being afraid to be with him, of her being afraid at all. “You know I want to be with you more than anything, don’t you?” Maybe it made him sound totally whipped to tell her that, but Puck had long ago come to accept that when it came to Rachel Berry, there wasn’t a whole lot he wouldn’t do to make her happy. The past year was fucking proof of that.

“I do,” Rachel whispered, “and I’m so sorry that I’ve been stringing you along.”

“No,” Puck disagreed with a sharp shake of his head. “You haven’t. You’re not making me do anything I don’t want to do, Rachel. I’ll wait for as long as you need.”

“That’s what scares me, Noah,” Rachel confessed, tears leaking from her eyes and onto the fingers of the hand Puck still had pressed to her cheek. “You’ve given me so much, and I feel like I haven’t given you anything in return. You’ve put  _ everything _ on hold for me. I know there are girls who you could be with, who want you – and you’ve blown them all off. For me.”

“So, what?” Puck asked in frustration, pulling his hand away from her cheek to scrub it over the top of his clean-shaven head. “You’re scared because I’m  _ committed _ to you? That’s what scares you?” At Rachel’s tearful nod, he sighed. “Why?”

“Because you could mean  _ everything  _ to me!” Rachel cried, letting go of his hand as she stood in her agitation. “If I… if I let you in, to every corner of my life, shared everything with you, gave you my heart… and then I lost it? I don’t know how I would recover from that!”

Puck couldn’t help the sting her words had. “You think I’m going to break your heart?” he demanded.

“No, I’m afraid  _ I’m _ going to break  _ yours _ !” Rachel nearly shouted. “You’ve put so much into this already, I’m afraid I’ll never be able to match it,” she continued more quietly. “I’m afraid that one day you’ll realize that I’m not who you thought, that I’m not good enough for you.” Tears were streaming down her face now. “I want  _ everything _ too much, Noah, including you. And in the past, all that wanting has ever done is ruin my relationships. It hasn’t been enough.” She looked at Puck through her tears, saw his stunned expression, and choked back a sob. Turning away, she practically ran across the bleachers as she attempted to escape.

The sound of her boots echoing on the metal stairs spurred Puck into action. “Rachel,” he called as he jogged after her. “Rachel, wait!” He caught up to her on the track surrounding the field, grabbing her wrist and pulling her back into his body. She came willingly, collapsing into him as she fought back tears.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered against his chest as her hands clutched the lapels of his leather jacket, his arms wrapping around her and his hands running soothing circles over her back. “I’m so sorry.”

Puck stepped back, far enough to cup Rachel’s face in his hands but not far enough to break her grip on his jacket. “Stop,” he said simply, his thumbs stroking softly across her cheeks. “Don’t ever fucking apologize for how you feel, Rachel. But I’m telling you right now, you have nothing to be afraid of. There is nothing for you to make up. I didn’t wait for you out of some fucked up obligation or because I expected something in return. I waited for you because I love you. I love everything about you, Rachel, including how much you want things.” He sounded more serious, more mature than Rachel had ever heard him sound before. “You’re not going to lose me, or push me away. You have me for as long as you want me, baby. I just don’t know if you do.”

Rachel’s breath caught in her throat as Puck’s forehead dropped to hers, the steam from their warm breaths mingling in the cold air. “Please tell me I didn’t ruin us before we even started,” she whispered, her eyes closing briefly before they focused on his intense green gaze. “Please tell me my leading man is still waiting in the wings.”

“I need a yes or no answer,” Puck murmured, his eyes never leaving hers. “Could you ever love me?”

A slow smile spread across Rachel’s face as tears once again filled her eyes, except this time they were tears of happiness. “Oh Noah,” she whispered, her hand coming up to stroke the side of his face tenderly. “Haven’t you figured it out? I already do.”

Puck let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding as he crushed Rachel to him, meeting her eager lips with his own. One hand slipped from her face to wrap around her lower back and pull her flush against him. His tongue delved into her mouth to meet hers as he poured everything he was feeling into the kiss. This is what he wanted for so long, and now that he had it, he almost couldn’t believe it was real.

Rachel pulled back to draw in a breath and Puck trailed kisses down her chin, across her jaw line and to her neck, nuzzling the skin there. He felt Rachel’s hands scrape through the short hairs on his head, her breath hot in his ear.

“I love you,” she breathed, her words washing over Puck and healing places inside him he hadn’t known were broken. Besides his family, nobody had ever told him they loved him. He was the guy they used for a cheap fuck and then regretted later. He was the one who wasn’t good enough to be loved. His father had taught him that, and until now, he’d believed him. Rachel was changing all of that.

Puck let out a shuddering breath against her neck before pulling back to see her face, his hands coming up to brush her bangs back, the other pressed to her lower back, holding her tightly against him. “I love you, too.”

A brilliant smile lit up her face, and she leaned up on her toes to once again press her lips to Puck’s, one hand still curled around the lapel of his jacket as the other cupped the back of his neck and played with the short hairs of his buzz cut. Puck’s arms tightened around her until she was lifted a few inches off the ground, her feet dangling in the air and the length of her body pressed against his as he responded eagerly to her kiss.

Rachel pulled back a few minutes later and Puck gently lowered her back to the ground. Their foreheads rested against each other, breaths mingling as they worked to calm their racing hearts.

“This is real, right?” Rachel murmured, looking up at him through her eyelashes. “It’s not a dream?”

Puck couldn’t stop the smile that bloomed on his face. Rachel Berry, the girl who had more dreams than anybody he ever met, thought that  _ he _ was one of her dreams. “Yeah, baby. It’s real.” He once again slanted his mouth over hers, needing to remind the both of them that this – them – was happening. “We’re real.”

Rachel sighed and snuggled her head against his chest, a contented smile lighting her face as Puck’s hands ran over her back. Standing there, with the cold February air blowing gently around them, she just knew that this was definitely the start of something beautiful.

Puck inhaled the scent of her shampoo, reveling in the warmth of her body pressed against his and her hands around his waist. He had her; after months of dreaming and wanting Rachel in his arms, she was here, and she was his. No matter what happened, no matter who objected or disapproved, they were real, and he wasn’t letting that go.

He heard Rachel whisper something against his jacket and pulled back to look at her. “What was that?”

She bit her lip and shrugged coyly. “I just… I finally got it right, Noah.” She looked up at him earnestly. “We’re right.”

Puck couldn’t help but grin. “Damn straight we are.”


End file.
